Thursday, January 12, 2006
[[Happy 20th Birthday to Me!]]
Yeah... I'm officially 20 today... damn... no more a teen! Hey... get this clear! I'm NOT getting old... But I'm becoming MORE MATURED ok?!
That's y today's entry gonna be filled with more depth n fweee-ling... so be warned of a
LONG LONG BLOG~ haha...
Well, its time I reflect on my life again...
Hmm its 2006, looking back the 19 years I've lived on this pathetic yet wonderful world.
one word: Happening. So many things had happened... esp this few years: be it good or bad... they are all my memories~ Glad I've met some really nice frens in my life and spiced it up... luv ya guys =)
Looking back ===> Lets begin when I was still a sweet 13... my teenage years... for that's how far I remembered.Then, during sec sch: I admit that I'm really naive, unsensible, kuku looking, low self-esteemed, conservative and anti-social
... I'm always stuck with the same group of people... and I blamed my sucky life on everybody else's...
Den at the start of Sec 4, I kinda sort out my thoughts... I tot I shudn't be such a loser... a pessimistic weakling n be so dependent on my frens... I shud move out of my comfort zone... And good thing I did moved on...
I began to stand up and speak for myself, to earn my own respect, to live my life better... and of cos to make my mama proud someday~ Yes... if I dun take care of myself... who would?!
Being more positive and open-minded really made me a happier person... and of cos without my family n frens... I wouldn't have lived so well~
Then, after graduating from sec sch: I suppose I've became more self-conscious... and had better self-esteem. I oso began to widen my social circles... and occupied myself with more meaningful thoughts and fufilling things to do! Hmm... I'm starting to miss the carefree and free-of-worries life back den!
Anyway its after my O levels... I'll always remember the year I turned 17... cos it was the other turning point of my life...
Went to Jurong Institite (presently known as Millinium Institute) for my 1st 3 months... pity I nv interact more with the fun peeps... cos I became anti-social once again... cant seem to maintain the expenses of going out like everyday... (we go there to play and not study! haa!) and so got stuck with Ah Gal... we hanged out together almost everyday~ Haa... and we did the most ridiculous stuff~ Yeah, shan't forget the times when we hid in the toilet during morning assembly to siam from the discipline mistress... skipped lessons halfway... roamed Orchard after sch... We'r even termed
"Partners in Crime" by our form teacher... haa~
Those days were really unforgetable... in that wulu, small, old and run-down school!!!
After getting results for O levels... all my good frens and I were being separated to different schs... and I was on my own again~ Went to SRJC after the fun n slacking 3 months... I felt really lost in the new school cos I know nobody at all... but luckily I met some good frens in there after tat! Phew...
Anyway I still had quite a hard time surviving in JC cos A levels is just so demanding and traumatising... sch is like so hectic yet life-less with loads of homework+projects and DANCE!!! Hmm... thats where I first had my taste of failure too... cos I was being retained in J1... and I dunno if I should feel sad for my dumbness or laziness...
And so, I went thru my 2nd-time 1st 3 months in SR the following year... I was 18 by then! I had to mingle with a bunch of juniors that's like 17?! Wa... felt so old suddenly... OMG! But slowly I began to adapt to the new environment and people... and I realised it was yet another honey moon period for me cos I had learnt most of the stuff previously =P So can slack a bit ah... haa~
But after the 1st 3 months... I had to part with most of the 1S18 frens cos they were going to other better schs (who would wan to stay in SR where they could go somewhere better?!) Once again I've got to meet new ppl in the new class: 1s23~ But good thing, there are nice peeps~
Well its good that I learnt a painful yet enlightening lesson in SRJC... it was a bittersweet period of my life indeed~ But I wont regret going there cos that's where I picked up Dancing (its becum my fave now)... and it indeed helped to build up my confidence and not forgetting the nice frens whom I got to know!!!
Hmm things were getting a little better from my 18th birthday onwards and I think it was quite a significant year too... cos I decided to change my path of study to a poly...
It took me a really
HARD and LONG time to make the decision of leaving... cos 1stly, I had already adapted to my new class and everything... 2ndly, I suppose I've achieved better results for my 2nd attempt in J1... cos even my teachers in sch were praising me that I'm picking up well too... so perhaps I shud just stay n continue my studies there... 3rdly, dance was another factor... I jus simply cant live w/o it~ And for the fact I've already involved myself in the musical production at that time... Thus I hesitated....
However, I'm still doubtful of the major exam in year 2... the A levels~ And so I finally settled my mind on gg poly... this decision was made at a rather last minute... cos I nearly missed the registration... =p
OH wellz... the next thing I knew I got myself into Temasek Poly Biomed/Biotech... yeah I'm glad I din make a wrong choice in going poly... but I think I made a wrong choice to pick such a demanding course! Arg... its so hectic too!!! But at least I got LIFE here... haha~ And I got a bunch of fun-to-be-with frens too... yeah I love them!!! Haha~
Oh yeah... was introduced the job @ Explorerkid to be a party-coordinator/cashier/playguide too... made me realised the power of money! Worked @ Muji too... =)
Presently, in my tertiary sch life: I'm evolved to a more optimistic, happy-go-lucky, easy-going person... and of cos became prettier la!!! =P And yeah getting a little crazy over cute guys eg Jay Chou. haa.
And note: I'm more matured now... ok?!
Stop calling me: old! =p
Yup... certainly many changes had taken place over the past years~ All these are parts and parcels of life I suppose... they've became part of my memories... and I shall keep them in the heart...
The Future: No one knows~Well perhaps... I just hope tat my life could be happier and more fulfilling. I wished tat my family could be more united n freed of worries... and that we shud be more understanding with each other~ I oso hoped I could have more money and a prince charming... haa!
Oh ya U've heard of new year resolutions... and how abt birthday resolutions?!
Haa... here's some of them:
I promise to love myself more each day!
I promise to cherish n love my family n frens more as well!
Hmm... tats abt it... I guess this entry is boring n long enuff to make u sleep... oh wellz... I suppose I shud just stop my life story here... bleah~
After today... life has to go on like yesterday... like it does tomorrow... How interesting can my life be? It depends on you and me~
Just Xuan blabbering @
Thursday, January 12, 2006
